Many people today hear the word submission and immediately think of something degrading or humiliating. They associate it with weakness or inferiority, and thus the Bible’s teaching about a wife submitting to her husband is often quickly dismissed without proper consideration. The Scriptures present a very different picture, which is neither shameful nor demeaning. Submission is honorable, reasonable, and an example of God’s wisdom in designing the home. Any group of people requires leadership to be orderly and function properly. Even with only two people, someone must take the lead, or there will be contention, confusion, and chaos. Those who submit are just as valuable and important to God as those who lead, and God’s plan for the home illustrates this simple truth.
The example of Christ is the strongest evidence that submission is not dishonorable. “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus…He took upon Him the form of a servant…He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross” (Php. 2:5-8). Christ humbly submitted to the Father, and no Christian would ever claim that His submission implied inferiority or lesser worth. His obedience was voluntary and motivated by love. It was the greatest act of strength and virtue the world has ever seen. He even served His own followers, washing their feet and teaching them to humbly serve others (Jn. 13:4-17; cf. Mt. 20:28). Any view that automatically labels submission as degrading dishonors the Lord Jesus Christ. Pride seeks power and exaltation, but humility accepts God’s will, just as Christ did. When the Scriptures teach wives to submit to their husbands (Col. 3:18; Eph. 5:22-24; Titus 2:4-5; 1 Pet. 3:1-6), that kind of humble submission mirrors Christ’s submission. His submission was not a sign of weakness, but the highest form of strength. After He submitted, God exalted Him (Php. 2:9-11). Likewise, God will exalt the woman who fears and obeys Him: “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised” (Prov. 31:30; cf. Lk. 14:11; Jam. 4:6-10). Satan tempted Eve to go beyond what God authorized, appealing to pride. Women today must not fall into the same trap by rejecting God’s design for the home.
Paul further explains God’s design when he writes, “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God” (1 Cor. 11:3). This passage shows that headship has nothing to do with personal worth. As the Father is eternal and divine, so is Christ, yet the Father is His head. The relationship involves order and responsibility rather than superior value. The husband’s headship and the wife’s submission follow the same pattern. Both roles serve God’s purpose for the home. Neither role indicates a difference in worth or importance.
The human body illustrates this truth well. The hands “submit” to the brain, yet consider how valuable the hands are. In fact, the hands can do many things the brain cannot, and the same is true of the feet, eyes, mouth, and other parts of the body. In a similar way, the woman can do many things the man cannot, including bearing children. The body members work together in harmony, each with its different functions, fulfilling its role as designed by God. Paul wrote, “Those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary” (1 Cor. 12:22). No one thinks the hands or feet lose value because they submit to the head. In fact, their great value is found in submission to the head. The body functions properly because each part accepts the place God assigned. Marriage is designed the same way. The husband leads with love and accountability before God, and the wife submits with willing respect. Both responsibilities are vital to a peaceful, orderly home.
The Holy Spirit’s plan for the home is the only way to build the home God intended, and the wife’s submission is a critical part of that plan. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Col. 3:18). The phrase “fitting in the Lord” shows that this is the proper arrangement God established. Peter teaches the same truth and explains the powerful influence a respectful, godly wife can have on a husband who is not obeying God’s Word (1 Pet. 3:1-2). Husbands also bear serious responsibilities to their wives before God. It is certainly easier for a wife to fulfill her God-given role when her husband is godly, loving, and considerate. His headship must not be harsh or oppressive: “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them” (Col. 3:19). Husbands must dwell with their wives “according to knowledge,” treating them with honor, “that your prayers be not hindered” (1 Pet. 3:7). The husband’s leadership requires understanding and wisdom, which comes more naturally if he selflessly loves her as he should. Not only should he “nourish and cherish” his God-given wife, but he should be willing to die for her (Eph. 5:23-33).
When the Bible is allowed to speak without interference from worldly influences, it is obvious that a wife’s submission is not shameful. It honors God’s order, reflects Christ’s example, strengthens the home, and provides the stability God intended for families. The modern world may resist God’s pattern, yet God’s design for the home has never been flawed or outdated. “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind,” allowing God’s Word to shape you into what He wants you to be (Rom. 12:1-2). He knows what is best, and His way is always the right way (Prov. 3:5-6). A godly wife who submits to her husband is not degrading herself in any way. She is following the example of Christ, demonstrating her faith in God, trusting God’s wisdom, and helping build a home that pleases the Lord (Psa. 127:1).